i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
