There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
