I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
