Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
