Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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