Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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