I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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