so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
