K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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