Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i will never coherently bang her
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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