She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
