some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
