I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
