so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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