Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
