How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
