So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
