im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
