If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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