its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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