I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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