yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
