nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
