Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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