He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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