guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
