I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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