what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
