i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
