Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
