i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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