I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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