she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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