Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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