If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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