used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
