I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
