Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
