I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
