Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
