ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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