Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
