his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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