Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
