i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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