i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
