there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
