Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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