Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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