Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
