I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
