My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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