So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Who died my cat blue again?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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