i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
