she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish i was in the wii world.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
