UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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