Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
