Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
