Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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