I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
