my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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