chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
