just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
