Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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