you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize