Whod you bang
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
