Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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